Godzilla's Rampage
by Lord Ironwolf
Summary: Me and some friends were discussing Godzilla and some politically incorrect comments were made and so there was nothing for it but for me to write a politically incorrect story about it. If you want a serious story, please move on. If you want a funny satire of Godzilla stomping Tokyo, read on.


**Godzilla's Rampage**

Once again, the leviathan of the deep, Godzilla, was heading for Tokyo Harbor. As much preparation as could be done had been made for when it made landfall. The military was on full alert. The army was set to deploy as soon as it knew where Godzilla would step ashore, the air force was circling overhead awaiting a target, and the navy was at the bottom of the North Pacific Ocean having already encountered Godzilla (moral was not exactly at a high level with the army and air force at this point), and the 'Special Weapon' was ready for use. Civilians had been warned to evacuate the city twelve hours ago and real-estate insurance companies were already gleefully jacking their rates up.

Exclusive airborne media coverage was being provided by KTYOK-96 News Network, as they were the only ones with helicopter pilots that were both crazy and stupid enough to be in the same air space as a raging kaiju that possessed a breath weapon. This was not by accident. After the last Godzilla incursion wiped out their airborne news fleet, (and the flat refusal of any Japanese pilots to do the coverage) News-96 hired several veteran U.S. Marine helicopter pilots for the job. Aside from the risk pay, they all said they were happy to do it for the bragging rights, crazy gaijin.

The newscast opens with a scene of Tokyo Harbor with some disturbance under the water heading for the docks. The voice over for the newscast opens with a pleasant female voice, "Good afternoon, this is Wakayama Oriana,"

"And Doi Renzo", an equally pleasant male voice cut in.

"And we're talking to you live from the safety of our underground bunker beneath the 96-News building on the outskirts of Tokyo, far away from Tokyo Bay." Continued the female voice smoothly.

"We will be reporting events live as they happen by virtue of the three news helicopters we have in the air over the city."

"You mean live for as long as they can keep from getting swatted or blasted out of the air Doi."

"Well, there is a reason we're in this bunker and not in one of the helicopters Wakayama. Oh, look. Camera 1 has Godzilla starting to emerge from the water."

The dark waters of the harbor frothed and churned and then Godzilla reared his head from the water and stood up completely in all his glory. It looked around calmly as water shed from his bark like skin.

"Well Doi, there it is again."

"Yeah, how is it that it can swim the whole way underwater but when it stands up the water is only knee deep? You'd think the back fins would have broached the water long before the head ever came up."

"We'll just have to leave that one for the scientists. Hey, switch to camera 2. Look at its face; it seems to be agitated about something. Its back fins are starting to glow! That usually means it's ready to unleash its breath weapon on something!" And they both waited in gleeful anticipation of the carnage that drove ratings up so high.

Indeed, what was once a calm expression could only now be viewed as a scowl on the great beast. The scowl deepened to a snarl and the back fins flickered with more and more energy. Finally, Godzilla reached down with his right arm and started to scratch between its legs. The agitated energy fluxuations on the fins subsided and disappeared and the snarl became a half-lidded expression of relief accompanied by a deep lunged sigh. After the sigh, it closed its eyes and kept on scratching.

"Well Wakayama, that was not what I was expecting. Say, camera 3, I think we have enough footage of it scratching it's, umm, private parts. Can you pan off to something else? Thanks."

"Not what I was expecting either Doi. It does prove one thing though."

"Oh? What?"

"Godzilla is male."

"I don't follow you."

"No woman would scratch herself in public like that and then keep on scratching after the itch was gone. Only men do that."

You could hear the dismay in his voice, "That has got to be the most sexist thing I've ever heard you say on air (off air was another story entirely)."

"I think we need a phone poll. 'Is Godzilla male'? For just 15 Yen per call you can make your opinions known. Call us at 7-5562-558-8585 and let us know what you think!" It's a good thing they were doing voiceovers as Doi was grinning hugely at her and even blew her a kiss. The 'phone poll' was a cash cow they thought up together. 15 Yen is trivial by itself and most people agreed with that, but if you got 20K people to call in it amounted to a substantial non-trivial amount. Of course, the station got most of it, but as it was their idea and done on their show they got 2% each of the net take.

Although it only lasted a few moments it felt as if it lasted much longer. Both the network and the network viewers were expecting to see the wholesale destruction of Tokyo and watching a towering behemoth satisfy and itch instead was somewhat disappointing as an alternative. Everyone wanted things to move along and get to the good stuff. Eventually, Godzilla stopped scratching and opened his eyes again, gave itself a shake, and resumed its progress towards the dockside. It had just cleared the water when the first wave of missiles from the attacking jet fighters struck. Multiple explosions burst into fireballs all along its torso and back. About a quarter of the missiles missed and caused collateral damage that so far dwarfed anything done by Godzilla itself. The mix of high explosive and armor piercing missiles seemed to have no affect what so ever, so naturally the fighter jets followed the missiles in and began strafing Godzilla with their onboard cannons.

Wakayama and Doi watched the battle as the jets launched missiles, strafed, and shot past Godzilla at near collision ranges while being systematically swatted out of the sky by unreasonably accurate breath weapon fire. "Say Doi," Wakayama asked after a moment, "I admit I'm not a military person but if the air force has the technology to launch missiles from miles away, why do they have to fly so close to Godzilla? I mean if they launched from beyond breath weapon range they could shoot off all their missiles and go back and get more and do it all over again instead of winding up like that." She pointed to camera 2 which had just shown Godzilla reaching up with a clawed hand and actually smacking a jet out of the air with it. "Oh, by the way, the polls are back in. Godzilla is male by an overwhelming vote."

"Good to know. But that really is something else we may have to rely on the scientists to confirm. As to your question, I have no idea Wakayama. Let's have another phone poll. 'Why do fighter jets get so close when they don't have to?' Remember, only 15 Yen to make your voice heard!" There was only one fighter jet left and it came in launching the last of its missiles and strafing as it came. Godzilla reached out and yanked up a loading crane from off the pier. He turned sideways so the approaching jet came in on his left side and took the crane into a two-handed grip and raised it angled up over his right shoulder. He completely ignored the missile and cannon impacts erupting across his body and when the jet was close enough, he swung! If it hadn't been for the fact that the jet disintegrated on impact with the crane it might have been ruled a home run. Godzilla tossed the crane aside and reached back into the water for something.

"Camera 2, zoom in on what he has in his hand. Is that what I think it is?" The camera obligingly zoomed in and revealed that Godzilla was holding a large whale in his right hand. Doi wondered out loud, "Why would he be doing that?"

Wakayama replied instantly, "Obviously, he thought he would be hungry later."

Wakayama was a raven-haired beauty and a good newscast partner but there were times (like now) when Doi felt like she could give dumb lessons to a blond. Doi stared blankly at her for a moment and then said, "Before I respond to that, the results are in for the last poll. The unanimous answer is, 'Because they're stupid'. Now then Wakayama, are you really going to suggest that on his way to attack Tokyo, Godzilla stopped to pack lunch?"

"Well, what else would he do with it?"

"I have no idea, but the concept of a kaiju expecting a long day of city stomping and packing a lunch for it is utterly ridiculous."

Wakayama was getting a bit snippy, "If you don't have a good answer of your own don't make fun of mine!"

Doi was getting rather testy himself, "We're REPORTERS! Not scientists or even analysts. We report what we see and what others tell us the answers are. We can report that he is carrying around a dead whale but we can't say exactly why until someone else figures it out for sure."

"How much figuring does it take? What else can he do with it besides eat it?"

They glared at each other for a moment and then simultaneously noticed that the attention light for all three cameras were blinking. Remembering they had jobs to do, they turned back to the cameras to resume their commentary. From what they were seeing, no commentary was needed just yet. Godzilla was approaching the defense line set up by the army. A free fire zone had been established for just this purpose and the army was deployed in a line directly across Godzilla's path. Godzilla had walked down one of the wide traffic lanes between the dockside warehouses and was gazing out over the city as if searching for something. When he emerged, the army opened up with everything they had. The entire line erupted in the flames from muzzle blasts of tanks and artillery, rocket fire, mortars, machine guns and rifle fire. The destruction was horrific. The buildings to either side of Godzilla shredded into flames and fragments and fires were almost instantly spreading to more warehouses. Godzilla himself did not seem to notice any of the explosive impacts on his body.

When Godzilla finally did notice, he simply stopped walking, looked down at them and cocked one eyebrow quizzically. He sat the whale down and looked around from left to right in the same manner that a human would look for a camera when they think they're getting pranked, and then looked back at the firing line and cocked an eyebrow again. All the while the barrage of shells, rockets and small arms fire (Really? Small arms fire against Godzilla?) rains in on him unabated, ineffective and generally unnoticed. Unnoticed except, of course, for all the warehouse owners watching the broadcast and seeing all their expensive stock go up in flames and insurance agencies gleefully anticipating how much they can raise rates on those properties. The rampant destruction is getting a lot of notice from the general viewing audience however. This can be clearly seen by the station's rating points going up, which prompts Wakayama to get involved in the commentary again. "How about a new phone poll? If missiles, rockets, and anti-tank fire bounces off Godzilla like marshmallows from an air gun, 'Why do the infantry keep firing their rifles?' Only 15 Yen to voice your opinion."

By now Godzilla is looking a bit exasperated at the army positions. He has crossed his arms and is tapping his right foot on the ground, apparently waiting for them to realize how useless it is to keep shooting at him, but the fire has not dropped off any and continues to pour into him. At last, fed up with it, he walks to the far right of the line, lines himself up with it, uses his breath weapon to explode a nearby tank to start a blaze, turns around and blows out a fart that when it ignites from the burning tank becomes the flame thrower from hell. It engulfs a good quarter of the entire army position. All firing ceased immediately, even those units well beyond the flame's reach. After a moment of shocked silence, the army positions broke up as all the separate units started to flee in panic in any direction they thought they could get a good running start in.

"Well! That was RUDE!" Doi exclaimed with no uncertain amount of disgust.

"Rude! Is that all you can say about it? We're talking about the horrific death of hundreds of brave JSDF soldiers out there! Just saying 'rude' sounds pretty heartless and uncaring."

"Yes, rude. A normal kaiju would have used its natural weapons on them, or stomped on them, or thrown a building on them. This sick son of a bsh, (he caught himself just in time) beast, lights a fart on them. That's – just - rude. Do you have any idea how hard it's going to be to treat the PTSD for something like that for the survivors?

Put that way, she was hesitantly inclined to agree with him. However, since she was still a bit ticked off at him, she did not want to concede the point. Instead, "It looks like the latest poll results are in. Lots of different answers this time but the one that came out on top was, 'It makes them feel better while waiting to die.' That is sad and a bit tragic but I can't really see any fault in it either. Let's go to camera 3 now as Godzilla has picked up the whale again and is heading towards downtown."

"Wait," Doi cut in, "camera 2, pan up the street ahead of Godzilla. That looks like a mob of people heading straight for Godzilla! What the hell are they thinking? Camera 2 zoom in and let's get a better look." The camera zoomed in and the crowd came into focus. For the most part they were happy and cheerful people waving at Godzilla and carrying signs that were all a variation of 'I (heart) Godzilla'. "Oh," he said with a sudden lack of concern, "it's those F.O.G. idiots. Friends Of Godzilla. For those viewers that don't know, these idiots believe that Godzilla is just a misunderstood creature and can be tamed and his violent tendencies turned to productive ones, despite all evidence to the contrary, if they just show him how much they love him." His sarcasm grew with every word he spoke.

"Obviously, they have not been watching this broadcast." Wakayama said in dismay.

"No Wakayama, they haven't. Or apparently, any other broadcast where Godzilla has visited Tokyo. They have been forbidden from ever approaching Godzilla for their own safety. Looks like they ignored the evacuation order and now will get the chance to prove to everyone they were right." Sarcasm dripped heavily from each of those last six words. "Well, all we can do now is watch and see how it plays out." And watch they did. The mob progressed to about 300 meters in front of Godzilla and stopped. They managed to attract his attention through the use of flares and semaphore lights. They cheered and shouted their love to him for a few minutes while Godzilla just stared back. Then Godzilla's spine fins flared with energy and a brief white hot gout of energy spewed forth from his mouth and scorched the street where the F.O.G. mob was. There were no survivors or even bodies; all that remained was the scorch mark where they once stood.

Wakayama spoke up in a dull tone, "Normally I feel a sense of outrage, grief, or sympathy for the senseless waste of human life, but it's just not happening for me here." She looked over to Doi and realized it was a good thing she spoke up first. He was actually biting his wrist in a heroic effort to keep from laughing out loud. "How about a phone poll?" she said to give Doi time to recover. "Was it a tragedy that could have been prevented or did they get what they deserved?"

Godzilla continued to advance towards downtown Tokyo carrying the dead whale. As a rampage, it left a bit to be desired. He kept to the wide streets and most of the damage he was doing was limited to cars parked or abandoned in the streets that he was uncaringly mashing flat and power lines. He still seemed to be looking for something. "The poll results are in and we have a surprise winner. I was expecting a resounding YES on the 'deserved' side but what came out on top was, 'Thank God they won't breed now.'"

Doi got himself under control and spoke up, "Camera 1, off to your left, is that a subway train coming down the track?" The camera panned obligingly and sure enough, a three-car subway train filled with people was progressing down the track and heading straight for Godzilla. The rail line paralleled the street Godzilla was using and was an above ground elevated section that would pass about thigh high to Godzilla. Doi was flabbergasted. "Why is there a train on the tracks? The evacuation order was given over 12 hours ago! How could the Metro not know Godzilla was stomping all over Tokyo and keep running trains? Why would anyone be stupid enough to get ON a train right now?"

Wakayama wasn't usually petty, but she couldn't resist the cheap shot. "As you pointed out to me earlier Doi, we don't provide answers; we just report what we see. And what I see is a subway train full of potential victims hurtling toward near certain death." She covered the mike and silently mouthed to him, 'Think of the ratings.'

"Well Wakayama, I'm glad you put things back into perspective. Who knows, maybe with a little luck Godzilla won't notice them." Unfortunately, luck was not with them. Godzilla did notice the approach of the train and dropped the whale in time to reach down and catch it off the tracks as it tried to slip by. He pulled the train into the air and appeared to examine each car critically. Deciding on the middle car, he detached the first and third ones and casually tossed them aside, passengers and all. He held the car vertically and started to tear off what was now the top. "If I didn't know better," Doi said with a bit of hesitation, "I'd say it looks like he is opening up a tube of snacks."

"Doi! We're talking about human lives here! How can you be so uncaring as to joke about,,," Having torn the end off, Godzilla tilted his head back and proceeded to shake the 'contents' of the train car into his mouth. ",,,but I do see the analogy you're making. Camera 3, please stop filming straight into his mouth, thanks." She said after watching the screen and turning a few shades paler. When nothing else came out, Godzilla negligently tossed the empty car over his shoulder, picked up the whale and started off again.

Neither of them felt like saying much after that and so the next few minutes of the broadcast was just watching Godzilla stroll through Tokyo without them saying a word. Suddenly Godzilla stopped and stared intently at something. He swung up the dead whale and spun it several times over his head and then threw it directly at a building. The whale both penetrated the building and came apart on impact in such a way that they both knew would never get past the editors for the evening recap. Godzilla stared for a moment with an incredibly pleased look on his face before turning to head back to the harbor by a different route. Swallowing hard, Wakayama spoke up first; "Cameras 1 and 3, I think we have enough footage of the impact site. Please get back to following Godzilla, thanks. Doi, do you have any idea who owns that building?"

"Checking on that now. It belongs to (he proceeded to let out a very unprofessional snort), it is the Tokyo headquarters for P.E.T.A." he choked out and then bit his wrist again to keep from laughing on air.

Wakayama was speechless, but only for a moment. "Say Doi, remember that load of spoiled sushi you gave me when I suggested why Godzilla brought the whale? I have a new theory, but I really want to hear your opinion first."

After recovering from his laughing fit; "Actually, I think we're both on the same page for this one. Based on what we've seen, it appears that Godzilla made a special trip to Tokyo just to throw a dead whale into the P.E.T.A. headquarters. I guess the real unanswerable question is 'why'? Why would Godzilla throw a dead whale into the P.E.T.A. Corporate Headquarters? I think it is time for another phone poll! Just 15 Yen gets your voice heard." Godzilla was working his way out of the city and was causing much more destruction this time. It still could not really be called a rampage as Godzilla seemed to be enjoying himself immensely and the carnage and destruction he was causing had an almost 'playful' aspect to it as he made his way through the Koto district. It seems to be pure co-incidence that he was heading toward Tokyo Disneyland. He had just reached the edge of the park when Doi came back in with the latest poll results. "Well, we don't have a clear consensus on this one. The top two responses are 'Just because' and hysterical laughter."

Godzilla was still 'stomping and romping' through Tokyo Disneyland when suddenly he reared his head back roared out a hideous bellow of pain and anger. His left foot came up; he tried to reach down to it, overbalanced and fell on to his right side. Incandescent beams of energy split the air as Godzilla raged and thrashed on the ground, his trademark bellow was deafening for kilometers in every direction. Camera 1 had swung around and was trying to get an image of his left foot, the one that he seemed to have injured. Despite the thrashing around, (Godzilla was on his back throwing a tantrum that would have done a three year old proud) they were able to identify a large, rectangular, yellow object imbedded in his foot.

Doi stared intently at the screen and then his expression cleared with sudden realization; "I haven't been to Disneyland for a couple of years, but does Tokyo Disneyland have a LEGO land area?"

"I believe it does Doi. And now I'm somewhat conflicted. I really don't like feeling sympathy for a kaiju, but I've been there. That really, really hurts." The tantrum raged unabated until finally Godzilla was able to dislodge the offending object by scraping his right foot along the bottom of his left. When Godzilla got back to his feet there was murder in his eyes. His back fins flared and not just LEGO land, but all of Tokyo Disneyland was blasted into rubble and set into flames. Although Tokyo Bay was his original destination and was actually just on the other side of Tokyo Disneyland, Godzilla turned northeast and began to wreak havoc in the Tokyo suburb of Urayasu.

Now THIS was the kind of rampage that the viewers were tuning in to see. Rage filled Godzilla's face as buildings were both kicked in and bulled through, power lines were ripped down, and his breath weapon set massive fires along his path. Smoke from the fires was making it more difficult to get good camera shots, but with three camera helicopters circling the area, there was no shortage of views of the carnage. Doi checked his street maps and then looked at the direction that Godzilla was heading and ventured a comment; "Well, if he keeps smashing and burning in the direction he's going there's going to be some very happy Yakuza tonight."

"I don't follow you Doi."

"Remember all those drug bust stories we covered over the last six months? The police large lot evidence warehouse in right in Godzilla's path. There's over a thousand metric tons of marijuana, cocaine, hashish, and other drugs there. Not to mention all the confiscated property like cars, vans, and just crates of other 'stuff' needed by the prosecution for dozens, if not hundreds of criminal cases. If all that evidence gets destroyed, there go all those cases." They turned back to the screens to watch as Godzilla continues to strafe his breath weapon back and forth across his path and to angrily smash down the buildings that didn't catch fire as soon as he got close enough to strike them.

Godzilla stomped through the smoke of the burning wreckage of a building and suddenly stopped. He looked around suspiciously and then sniffed. And then took a deeper breath. The energy arcing through his back fins subsided significantly. Godzilla turned and put his head completely into the column of smoke rising up from the burning building and did what can only be described as 'deep breathing exercises'. The agitated energy in the back fins subsided completely. Godzilla stood motionless in the smoke for perhaps another full minute and then stood upright and pulled his head clear of the column of smoke. His eyes were half-lidded and there seemed to be a slight smile on his face. In fact, you could say he looked very, very relaxed. He took a step backwards, stumbled, and sat down heavily. His head came up with a start and he looked down at himself as if wondering how he came to be sitting down. He raised his hands and rubbed his head and when he was done he looked at his right hand as if startled to see it there. He then slowly made a fist and raised thumb up to eye level and stared at it in fascination.

[45 minutes later]

"That is one seriously mellowed out kaiju." Doi commented as Godzilla continued to just sit here and stare at his thumb. He and Wakayama were running out of things to say. They were supposed to do a running commentary on Godzilla's latest rampage, which they were doing, but there is only so much you can say about a giant kaiju sitting on its butt, staring at its thumb. They had done 3 more phone polls, but they were reaching the limit of what they could make up as supposed news coverage. Abruptly, camera 1 swung around to focus on something coming down one of the streets. It was a military vehicle of some kind. That is to say, it was propelled by tank treads, but almost three times as long as a normal tank. In place of a turret or any other kind of a conventional weapon, it appeared to be mounting a tube laying horizontally along its top consisting of a complex series of coils and cables and capped off by a radar dish with a spike coming out if it. "Well, it looks like they finally are going to be bringing in that special weapon we were expecting." Doi was profoundly glad to have something else to talk about now. 'It's about time', he muttered under his breath.

The vehicle came down the street directly in front of Godzilla and ground to a halt. There was some adjustment to its facing to line it up and then the weapon on top also moved around very slightly as well. "They seem to be taking their time to take careful aim." Doi resumed the commentary. "Of course, they're aiming at an immobile object larger than a building from only about a half a kilometer away. I think it is safe to say that if they do miss they will never live it down."

The 'dish' of the weapon crackled with power and bright white beam of energy that flickered with tendrils of electricity shot forth and impacted Godzilla directly in the chest. The effect was pretty much the same as if an electrician was working on a wall outlet and suddenly discovered the power was not shut off like he was told and he was not grounded properly. Godzilla's eyes bulged open and he shook spasmodically and whipped his head back and forth in confusion. The special weapon fired again and once again struck Godzilla right in the chest. This time Godzilla did not start, but instead narrowed his eyes and glared at the vehicle. He stood up and glared down at the weapon with his hands on his hips, almost as if daring them to do that again. They didn't take the hint. The tube adjusted for elevation and fired once more striking in approximately the same spot. Godzilla ignored the beam just as he had ignored everything else that had been shot at him over the course of the day. After the fourth ineffectual and useless firing, Godzilla started towards it.

"Incredible," Wakayama said in awe, "the special weapon that the government had put so much hope and dumped so much Yen into has not had any effect at all on Godzilla."

"I think you're completely wrong there Wakayama."

"What do you mean? It obviously didn't wound him in the slightest!"

"I wasn't talking about wounding him. But there's no doubt what so ever that they killed his buzz and pissed him off." He covered the mike and silently mouthed to her, 'More rampage, and think of the ratings.'

"Well Doi, I'm glad you put things back into perspective." Godzilla had reached the vehicle now and stopped right in front of it. "I guess we'll just have to see how he will retaliate for that. Will he blast it with his breath weapon, stomp on it, or kick it two blocks down the street?" Godzilla actually did none of those things. He was snarling down at it when his expression cleared and was replaced by a squinty eyed, evil grin. Godzilla advanced on the vehicle until he was standing directly over it, leaned forward placing his hands on his knees, squatted, raised his tail and,,,

"EWWww! Gross!" Wakayama shouted into her microphone. "For the love of God camera 3, we do not need a close up of it coming out!" Godzilla finished quickly (but it felt like a lot longer for everyone watching) and the special weapon was now more than half covered in; let's just call it what it is: a huge, mushy, green/brown steaming pile of giant kaiju shit. "Remember what you said about treating the PTSD for the army Doi? It's is going to be much worse for that tank crew."

"I'm as repulsed as you are Wakayama, but you have to admit, as a gesture of contempt, that's going to be hard to beat. Let's have another phone poll; 'Which was ruder? Lighting a fart on the army or taking a dump on the special weapon?' 15 Yen gets your opinion heard!"

Godzilla stood up straight with an inordinately pleased look on his face. He looked around slowly and started to rub his stomach. The pleased look became a frown as he looked around a little more quickly. The frown stayed but he was looking around very rapidly now. At last he stopped looking around and stared off towards the warehouse district where he came ashore. He started off at a quick walk, then a trot, and ended up at a full run. The vibrations from his footfalls were setting off car alarms for three blocks in every direction and buildings that didn't have a firm foundation collapsed in on themselves. Anything in his way was smashed aside.

He skidded to a stop once he got to the warehouses. He found the building he was looking for and ran to it, ripped the roof off and thrust his head and shoulders inside. This was quickly followed by the sounds of noisy eating indicating a serious lack of table manners.

Wakayama and Doi were speechless. Not a good thing for news commentators and Doi quickly recovered. "Let me check something." He consulted the same street atlas he used to discover what building Godzilla threw the whale into. "Aha! I thought that was it. That's the Glico warehouse."

"You lost me again. What does that have to do with anything?"

"They make Pocky!"

"So?" She asked, still a bit perplexed, "How does that explain what's going on?"

"Well, to put it in simple terms, he got stoned and now he is having a giant kaiju sized munchies attack." Doi didn't bother to explain that he knew exactly what was happening because he had the exact same thing happen to him on more than one occasion. He loved Pocky too. He even bought stock in the Glico Corporation. "Oh, the poll results are in. What happened to the special weapon was much ruder."

The Pocky feeding frenzy continued unabated for about ten minutes before Godzilla pulled his head out of the warehouse and sat down heavily with a half-lidded, satiated expression on his face. "It looks like I have to believe you on this one." Wakayama said hesitantly, "But how did he know which warehouse was the Glico one?"

Doi shrugged, "How did he know which building was the P.E.T.A. building to throw the whale into? This is just another one that we will have to,,," he paused and looked at her expectantly.

"Let the scientists figure out." She finished for him. Godzilla stretched his arms wide and opened his mouth for a massive jaw cracking yawn. He scratched his chest and other less socially acceptable areas and then casually stood up and then turned and headed for Tokyo Bay. At the edge of the harbor pier, he suddenly clutched his stomach and there was a loud rumbling noise. Godzilla opened his mouth and bellowed out his classic trademark roar, but it was about 5 octaves lower than it normally was and every seagull within 500 meters in front of him dropped like stones.

Without any further incident, Godzilla eased himself back into Tokyo Bay, waded out until the water was knee deep and then slid completely beneath the surface. Wakayama and Doi smiled at each other and started in to their 'post rampage' commentary knowing they could get at least four more phone polls in before the network pulled their plug and returned to normal broadcasting.


End file.
